Sand Trails Ch 11: Kisame’s Report

The next day, Itachi was sprawled on the living room couch, listening to music, when Kisame was lead into the room by Mikoto. Sakura was due in any minute.

“What’s wrong with you, anyway?” the blue boy said, dropping a manila folder onto the wooden coffee table with a thud. He watched Itachi turn his head without actually opening his eyes.

Mikoto hovered longer than usual before going to get tea. Briefly, she recalled the glass-topped coffee table they’d once had in the living room. She also recalled the reason it was moved to the attic, less the glass. Sometimes, it sucked to have so much testosterone around the house…

“Yo?” Sharky leaned over and waved a hand at Itachi. “Hey fucker—” Itachi moved before Kisame blinked, but blue boy already knew what was coming.

The Uchiha’s hand ghosted up Kisame’s arm and then grabbed his ear, tweaking it painfully (anything much worse would be disrespectful to his mother). “Language,” the Uchiha snarled, mood darker than usual.

“Nnnnngggh.” Kisame half bent in the direction of Itachi’s wrist. “I know! I know,” he protested. “Let go.”

Itachi released him and sat up. “Is that my homework?” he asked, gesturing vaguely toward the coffee table.

Rubbing his abused ear, Kisame slumped, thumping down onto the couch next to his friend. “Yeah. There’s a major Calculus project due in a week. How can Calculus have a project?” He paused to rest his strained lungs. Then continued, “I mean, you just f—” the big guy cringed when Itachi’s hand twitched. “Er, you just write down the numbers and calculate and stuff.”

He leaned back into the cushions of the couch and rubbed a hand just under his sternum. “The rest is just the usual. Stupid assignment packages.” He closed his eyes. Ah, fuck. May as well get the news over with.

“Um, Hidan’s in for a concussion. Dei is… in for… uh, falling off a building.”

Silence. Then Itachi frowned ever so slightly. “Falling off a building. Deidara is not the masochist, Kisame,” he pointed out. He didn’t fail to notice that the minute he was out for a while, two of his group were hospitalized.

“Hidan’s fault,” Kisame said quickly from his position further back on the couch. “All Hidan’s fault.” The blue boy softly chuckled, but cut off with a low moan.

“You’re injured, Kisame. You did not say that.” There was a warning in Itachi’s tone, but he was somewhat mollified by amusement. Likely, the only person that got out of this—whatever ‘this’ was—uninjured would be Kakuzu.

The other boy snorted, then turned into the arm of the couch and whined. He mumbled something into the pillows.

Itachi’s eyelid twitched, the only outward sign of his surprise. “Kisame… what happened?” he asked, brow wrinkling. Did someone go off in a rage and beat on everyone? Did Itachi have to take action? … What had Hidan done?

Slowly, Kisame rolled around on the couch and sat up. “You don’t want to know. Just—Hidan’s an idiot, Deidara is a pussy, and Kakuzu is just touchy,” he listed off. “And not in a good way,” he muttered. Fuck, his diaphragm ached from even that little bit of talking. “We’ll be fine,” he wheezed, and flopped back on to the couch again.

Itachi sighed. Really? Really? Not two, but three of his friends were injured, and he’d missed one afternoon. What the hell? … Maybe Hidan and Deidara should be put on meds.

“Very well,” he muttered with another sigh. He frowned. How was he going to do his homework? Perhaps when Sakura got here, he’d try opening his eyes a little. They felt a little better this afternoon…

“Tea!” Mikoto chirped, returning to the room with a clinking tray.

“Thanks, Mikoto-san.” Kisame levered himself into an upright sitting position, clutching his ribs, his breath hissed short controlled gusts.

As the two teenagers sat sipping tea, Kisame carefully exhaled and turned to his friend. He knew Itachi was worried, but it was really their own idiocy that had fucked themselves so badly.

“I’ll tell you what happened tomorrow. I swear. Just not now.” Kisame winced. “Definitely not now,” he muttered. “The whole thing is so hilariously messed up; I’ll laugh if I tell you,” Kisame gulped down another hot mouthful of tea, “and right now, that’s a really bad idea for me.”

“Hnn.” Itachi sat back and sighed. He was doing that a lot, actually. He should probably stop… “I need to do my homework,” he mumbled, more to himself than his companion. He considered getting it done before Sakura arrived… though, she had expressed her desire to help.

His pride was telling him, he did not need her help. His head was telling his pride, it was being asinine and he should accept her help. Decisions, decisions…

While Itachi was thinking, Kisame managed to convince himself that maybe it was worth the risk to look at Itachi straight on.

Ever since Itachi had tweaked his ear, Kisame had been envisioning that very same disproving face looming over the rest of the group. Especially, after the black-eyed teen found out how Kisame got ‘injured’. The idea of Itachi darting from guy to guy, tweaking ears to discipline the ‘rowdy boys’ had Kisame’s whole body quivering with the need to laugh. At minimum, a chuckle.

Oooh, not going to happen. He needed a distraction.

He looked at Itachi and opened his mouth to ask about the cell phone.

Itachi was scowling, and his eyes were closed (he wasn’t sure if Itachi had opened them at all the entire time Kisame had been here) and the teen looked like he wanted to kill something.

Or was faced with a room full of incompetents, who all deserved ear tweaking.

Kisame squeaked.

Itachi stiffened, his mouth falling open. He turned his head toward his friend, and slowly lifted an eyelid. “… Did you just squeak?”

Sharky had his eyes clamped shut and his lips pressed together and literally trembled with his efforts not to let go. Itachi’s incredulous tone snapped Kisame’s eyes open enough to see his best friend gaping at him.

A snerk twisted his lungs, and Kisame gave up the fight.

He lost it. Gasping and groaning, and strangely enough a queer high-pitched hooting, Kisame clutched his sides and rolled into the arm of the couch, trying not to care that he hurt so much.

Fuck… What would Itachi look like when he found out what had happened yesterday? Probably beat them all bloody blue with a cricket bat. But would he be wearing that same disbelieving face? Kisame figured it may just be worth it the pain to get hospitalized now through his own stupid laughter than to get the beating Itachi would be dealing out later.

“Stop. Laughing,” Itachi growled, tone deadly.

“It looks painful,” Mikoto added from behind them.

Itachi did not jump. But he almost did. He’d forgotten his mother was there. “Kisame…”

The doorbell rang.

Kisame made a huge effort to stop laughing. Itachi was pissed. “Ohh,” he groaned and sat up. He looked at his friend and plaintively asked, “Did you really need to sit there with your mouth open?” He slumped against the arm of the couch and closed his eyes. “I could be not hurting, if you just had not dropped your freakin’ jaw.”

Itachi twitched, vaguely hearing the sound of his mother answering the door. “Hnn,” was the only reply he gave.

Footsteps approached, and Sakura stepped into the room. She smiled. “Oh, Kisame-kun. Hi!” She waved, slowly making her way around the couch to sit in the armchair to Itachi’s immediate right.

Kisame felt Itachi’s weight shift and he opened his eyes to see Sakura give Itachi a worried look. He waved at her and tried to smirk, but it probably came out more of a grimace. She shot him a look that turned worried as well.

“Hi Sakura-chan,” Kisame said lowly. Then he blinked. Oh yeah. He turned to Itachi, “Hey, did your cell phone get lifted?”

The black-haired teen tilted his head and turned to face his best friend. “No,” he replied.

Sharky frowned and sat up. “But, I texted you last night. I got a real girly message back…” He peered at his friend. Itachi really wasn’t opening his eyes. “You sure you got it with you?”

“He has his phone,” Sakura said, quirking a brow. “Why wouldn’t he? Hell, why would he let someone steal it?” She snorted. She didn’t mention that Ino had jacked the thing last night, and that Sakura had been doing the replies whenever Ino didn’t have it.

Itachi almost turned his head to face Sakura, but realized that if the conversation continued, he would look like an idiot, turning his head back and forth. He grunted and relaxed back into the couch. Issue solved.

What the fuck? Blue boy looked from his friend to Pinky and frowned. “No offense, Sakura-chan, but I wasn’t asking you.” He turned back to Itachi. “I sent a text asking where you were last night…”

He fumbled at a pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “I got a text back like I said…” He thumbed a few buttons and pulled up the message. Then he held it out to Itachi. “Here—it came from your phone and it definitely wasn’t you.”

The teenager in the middle stiffened. Then he sighed. If Kisame was right, then he needed to know that his phone was gone. He hadn’t touched the thing since coming back from after school. It should still be in his jacket.

He reached out and Kisame helpfully placed the phone right into his hand. Itachi smirked. If only life were so easy. In a manner much like Kisame, Itachi took a careful breath, and slowly opened his right eye.

Sakura was wearing that polite smile when he glanced in her direction. Meaning A) she was guilty, or B) she was pissed. Or maybe C) all of the above. “I was helping out. Uh… and Hidan may have gotten a text from Ino. I’m not sure if I was able to cancel it in time.” Her smile turned sheepish.

Itachi and Kisame both lifted a single eyebrow. Sakura found it rather unsettling that two guys could have the exact same reaction.

The single black eye turned to the phone in his hands and quickly scanned the information that was on the screen. He had to tuck his chin in and hold the phone up higher to see it through the clear upper half of his eye, but it was possible.

Kisame blinked. Itachi was looking at his phone with one eye closed. And the guy was squinting. “Yo, what’s up with your eyes? That one looks really messed up.”

Sakura twitched. Be cool, Sakura. You are in the Uchiha house, and you should be polite, if only so you can keep yourself on Mikoto-san’s good side, Inner Sakura said slowly. But, she continued after a beat, when you and Kisame have time away from the house, KICK HIS ASS!!!

The pink haired girl made a face; she definitely needed medication for this. Hell, she needed her head checked for all of this! If she hadn’t gone and gotten interested in sexy Itachi, none of this would have happened.

And then, on the tail end of that thought; but Sasuke is so much happier these days, and Itachi-kun is a great guy, and while Naruto’s an ass, he was starting to cope. He’d even apologized to her in front of the whole cafeteria earlier! (Granted, he was skipping class to do so, but still, it was the thought that counted.)

Still slouched into the cushions, Itachi turned to face Kisame and handed back the phone. Opening the one eye hadn’t grated as much as he had expected, and it felt nice to have some vision. He slowly opened the left eye and waited for Kisame’s reaction.

Breath whooshed out of his lungs, and Kisame stilled. Fuck, so this was why the bastard was keeping his eyes closed. The blue teen leaned a little closer, taking in the burst capillaries and scratched corneas.

He whistled low. “I heard Naruto got in a hit, but I was thinking he managed to kick you in the fucking shin.”

Itachi twitched and growled, “Language, Kisame.”

“Aah—sorry.” Kisame went back to watching his friend’s eyes staring back at him. “How bad?”

The other boy shrugged. “Scratches, three-quarters of my vision. Temporary.” Itachi closed his eyes; they were beginning to sting.

Kisame flopped into the couch next to him. “Daaaamn,” he drawled. “That’s shitty luck.”

Itachi sat up and snapped open his eyes. He could barely make out the general shape of his friend, but it was enough. He whapped his best friend upside the back of the head. “Language,” he hissed.


Sakura’s brows drew up, but she didn’t comment. “We should start our homework…” she suggested carefully. “Will you be joining us, Kisame-kun?” She smiled sweetly at him.

Kisame ruefully rubbed the spot Itachi had nailed. He was getting way too many places that needed rubbing. “Sure,” Sharky said, shrugging. “The more the merrier.” He cringed. I think Itachi rattled something loose in there. ‘More the merrier’?


Chapter 10 | Table of Contents | Chapter 12

This is a short one, but that’s because the next scene is huge and had to be split into two just on its own. I plan on posting ch 12 and 13 together.


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